The airlines suck

I was hoping I'd be flying in one of your newer, safer models

Birds holding a meeting: probably nothing is going to get accomplished

Bwack!

These people sure are dumb about furniture

I don't think it's wise to put your dirty feet on the table.

How did the sphinx fit through the door?

I'm sorry but we are not hiring statutes.

Its funny because he is dressed nice and not like a slave, yet he is still a slave

If you loosen your tie you would be less uncomfortable.

How did he carry that podium into the bed?

You must be real uncomfortable lying in bed fully dressed with a podium on top of you.

I wonder if that guy is wearing cleats?

There is no way that creepy dude can pitch well in that outfit!