This guy does NOT look calm

I've always hated your yoga class!

its weird that his bus has no windows

You should get up and meet some voters

I think this guy is lost

it was really dumb of me to bring sheep to New York City

is this a dr or a plantologist?

You have a strange disease that causes you to grow leaves like a plant

everyone looks so busy except the lazy folks in bed

Its really hard to sleep with all these people in our bedroom

What a waste of a perfectly good pair of stockings

I look like an idiot

maybe she likes the dot-guy because her man is bald and unattractive

don't be mad that I am in bed with him, I haven't connected all of his dots, so he doesn't have a full penis

therapists really do have couches, so this is more realistic than the normal cartoon

Your new couch has arrived, so you can sit there instead of in the chair, if you desire

it seems as if the dog doesn't care that he is stuck in this wacky situation

If we don't decide to walk in the same direction, we will probably kill this dog

how could this guy get through security?

I know I am asking you a question and you have no mouth in which to answer; could you at least nod?

is the new baby supposed to go home in the little car?

I'm happy for the little car, which I am sure is surprising everybody because they probably expected me to want a baby to come out of my vagina

these guys are dum

darn, I think its too hot to ski

Maybe the doctor forgot where his office is

Stop walking, I am trying to listen to your heart

why doesn't the boss just get in and out boxes?

my feet hurt from standing here with all these papers.

the cutout has really big ears, is it supposed to be Obama?

boy, I must be really drunk if I am talking to a cardboard cutout

why would they let a cop in there?

guys, keep your voices down, there is a cop on a horse behind us and we are criminals

they also love dead guys

What a waste of saline

the new yorker really likes cartoon naked guys

I'm going faster than you even though I have no clothes on

people don't normally go around naked, that's why this cartoon is hilarious

it is really weird that we all forgot to put on our clothes before the big meeting

if the chef is dead, how did he make the pizza?

right under the pizza is a dead man's penis

if eggs could really talk they'd say don't eat me

its a miracle that we both can keep our glasses on our heads

are these guys real or dolls??!

that thing sticking out of his back must be painful

Houses don't really sleep!

You can't sleep here because lying next to you would be too uncomfortable

I think the mouse would need opposable thumbs

If you put that gun away, I'd probably destroy you, because that is what cats historically do to mice.

the guy is floating

Not sure why I am weighing you, you probably weigh zero

Hey, monsters don't really exist

I'm as scared as you guys, but I am not showing it on my face

devils apparently like fire

I'm laughing because its so hot down there

i guess cops know their math

I am showing you a very complicated equation because I am a cop and I can do these kinds of things!

Human: What is on top of a house? Dog: Roof! Human: what can I give you so you will sleep withme? Dog: Roofies!

I can't tell if you are a dog or a guy in a dog costume, so I don't know whether or not to write this prescription in English, or in whatever language dogs read.

hey, who let that guy in there?

This isn't a golf course, it's an operating room, dummo!

Wait a second, fish can't talk!

Please don't eat me, I'm a talking fish

You have a bag on your head

I can't see your face under that garbage bag

Look, the waiter has a tuba!

If I blow this really loud, you won't be able to hear each other

Its a naked guy!

Honey, your penis is showing.

Wellcom Dummies

Inspired by the genius who said every caption in the caption contest could read, "Jesus, what an asshole," I have created this alternative New Yorker cartoon caption blog.  Here, the object is to come up with the most obvious, dumbest caption each week.  Feel free to join the fun!  If you feel real brainy, however, check out my blog for pro, captionthisnewyorker.blogspot.com